Positive Cancer

Sometimes when we deal with Cancer, we being the person that has Cancer, we tend to forget that other people are deeply affected by our condition and by the way our lives change theirs. Caregivers, whether they are husbands or wives, kids or grandparents, friends or relatives, have an incredible burden placed upon them; one which I feel doesn’t get enough attention. If whoever is taking care of you is feeling negative, or stressed, it’s bound to come down on you and make it harder for you to live a positive life style.

Loved ones need to understand that their role is important both for your sake, and for their own wellbeing. It hard to watch the one you love deteriorate or become unable to do the things they used to do, and it’s equally hard to give up so much of yourself having to provide both mentally and physically for them. Love is powerful, but we are only human, and we feel anxiety and stress, not to mention pressure. I feel that part of the burden of Cancer is making sure that your loved one’s, your caregivers don’t feel isolated and lonely but instead feel welcome and supported.

You need to take the time to explain how much the support of your Caregiver has helped you, and by all means thank them over and over again. Let them know that they have done for you what no one else could, and that you understand how hard it is on them. If your situation is bad enough that your Caregiver is constantly working with you, whether it’s to feed you, or to take care of the kids, or to get you medications, or simply to be with you day in and day out, you need to let him or her have time for themselves. Even saying something as simple as “Listen, I love that you’re always here for me, but I want you to go out to a movie, or have a coffee with somebody. Just go and do something else for a while.” Invariably most Caregivers will respond by saying that they would rather just continue to be with you, but you need to convince them that they need to take care of their mental wellbeing, and will in fact come back more refreshed and more capable of dealing with everything that comes with Cancer.

There is sadness and loneliness, and Cancer can make that isolation feel so acute it seems like there will never be a relationship that solidifies for you, but in truth it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. Open yourself to those around you, take care of each other and together plan the positive goals that will defeat Cancer.