Positive Cancer

Telling family about having Cancer is hard but for most people family bonds are strong enough to survive. Friends, on the other hand, are a diverse group of people whose responses can leave you stunned, amazed, or somewhere in-between the two.

Telling close friends is similar to telling family except that your relationship to your friends run under a different parameters, and sometimes just by mentioning Cancer you can change the friendship. I want you to be ready for this. Most people have heard that friends are near during the good times, but only a few “good” friends stick around for the bad. This is unfortunately true, and I have experienced it both the first time I was diagnosed with Cancer, and the second time it returned.

You have to mentally prepare yourself for many different things, things which can make negative feelings and thoughts commonplace within your brain and body. You need to realize that those friends who can’t “handle” the situation should not be a part of your life, as you need to focus on your battle with Cancer, and focus your attention and love on those who would help, care, and love you back. Once you understand how things could go its time to tell them.

Again a quiet time is good, perhaps out for a coffee or just relaxing at your house. I prefer to have a friend who already knows be with me when I tell another friend; I feel that if I bring family it might make them feel uncomfortable. Once you tell them, listen to their reaction, but don’t take it to heart, whether its stunned sadness or unreadable silence. Give them some time, and see whether they still come by the house, whether the conversations, though different, still flow between the two of you. I can tell you that everyone I ever told about my Cancer was stunned, saddened and all promised to help anyway they could. I can also tell you that over half of those friends haven’t called back since, amazing as that is.

I suppose telling your friends is the easy part, dealing with the loss of your friends is harder, but that’s for a different post. Positive Cancer is how I live, and I don’t have the urge to exert the effort to bring back old friends who “talked the talk” but did not “walk the walk.” I hope that you realize this, and stay positive; keep your mind on family and friends that matter, and let their positive energy help you any way it can.